I don’t know what to believe!  I’ve always been warned: “Be careful about making friends within the churches you serve.”  Yet, a beloved District Superintendent once told me: “You’ve got to take time to make a few friends along the way.”  Two men I respected; two different views on the same subject.  Yet I find myself in an odd situation.  I have been serving the same church for 8 1/2 years.  That’s 75% longer than I’ve served anywhere else in my 24 years of pastoral ministry.  And I’d be very lonely except for … FRIENDS.

But another thought has been floating through my mind in the last day or two: my friendships are evidence of true success in ministry.  My friends are from two completely diverse circles.  First, I am blessed to have a small group of pastors who love me, hold me accountable, encourage me, pick me up when I’m completely down and out, and challenge me to be better than I am.  We share life together.  We laugh together; we struggle together; we plot and plan together.  We hike together, observe nature together, eat together, and celebrate together.  We are brothers and there’s nothing I would take in return for the friendship we enjoy.

After 8+ years, I’ve also developed friendships within the church.  We laugh together; we pray together; we struggle together and celebrate together.  We serve together, worship together, study together, reach out together, and love together.  We are friends.  No!  We’re more than friends; we’re a family and there’s nothing I would take in return for the friendship we enjoy.

From time to time, I feel very ineffective as a pastor.  In a church with declining membership, declining attendance, and declining finances, it’s very hard to feel effective.  In a generation that would rather fuss about worship style than celebrate diversity, it’s very hard to feel effective.  When people choose to complain about what creed is used or the use of more modern language instead of archaic English from our past or the infrequent use of their favorite hymns, it’s hard to feel effective.  And so, I have despaired!  Like Elijah, I have wondered if this thing called ministry is really for me anymore!  Is the anointing of God still upon me?  Am I still meant to do this?  And at times, I’ve clearly answered …. NO!

And then, I remember my friends.  You know, the angel Clarence wrote: “Remember, George, no man is a failure who has friends.”  So, while some will count membership, and others finances, and still others attendance to judge the effectiveness of their ministry, I will count my friends.  Because in their eyes, I see the me that I want to be, the me that is making a contribution and maybe even a difference in the lives of others.  Thanks Rodney, Thad, Craig, Dennis (and Barry).  And thanks for the friends I’ve made within the churches I’ve served: Salem, Avalon, Buena Vista, Wrightsville, and Jesus.  Thanks for saving my ministry!!